Shona Neary / Sketchy Shona
I make emotional states physical through painting, drawing and objects. In a numb period, bodily sensation and intense colour gave me something to work with, and the images have brought people together around what can be hard to say.
When feeling goes quiet
Depression moves in waves for me. The death of someone close to me triggered a depressive episode of my own. During a numb period, I could feel little beyond the physical sensations of my body.
I never decided to become an artist. Making is part of how my mind works, as depression is. Neither is something I chose. When I start creating again as I come out of a depressive slump, it can be a sign that feeling and balance are returning for me. It does not mean the depression is gone, and I do not offer it as a cure for anyone else.
Give the feeling a body
I draw and create emotional states through the ways they feel in the body: a body on fire, a heavy head, rotten teeth. These are physical forms for feelings that can be difficult to name, not diagnoses. My work leans heavily into the somatic sensations of physical and mental states.
Sometimes there is no vocabulary for a state. A drawing, painting or object can still hold its heat, weight, pressure or distortion without pretending it explains everything.
I paint my figures from the bones outward, adding layer by layer. The body takes shape through that slow construction.
The storm before the process
The central painting and the exhibition share the title Life in Progress. I made the painting during a numb period when I could feel little beyond the physical sensations of my own body.
I think of it as the storm before the process: a storm of feeling and life, held in numbness and close to breaking. Its colours are intense rather than muted or grey. Somehow, that made the painting feel more alive. I do not have a neater explanation for the pressure in it.
Half Life
I titled this self-portrait Half Life. I brought physics and spirituality together in it. While I was processing depression, existentialism gave me something to hold onto and helped me keep going.
The painting was shown in the DA SWAMP exhibition at THE FLOOR in Berlin. DA SWAMP is the exhibition title, not the painting’s name.
What the work does between us
My work has created a community of people who have struggled with depression. When words are missing, we can recognise something of ourselves in an image and find a way to be together. It can give sense to an experience that is difficult to say. I do not claim that this is treatment or that one image speaks for everyone.
Images from this journal record
When I Could Feel Only My Body / Life in Progress / centrepiece painting Artwork: Sketchy Shona (Shona Neary).
When I Could Feel Only My Body / Half Life / painting shown in DA SWAMP Artwork: Sketchy Shona (Shona Neary).
When I Could Feel Only My Body / Broken Teeth & Rotten Bodies / body drawing