But does that mean we’re obsessed with ourselves? Maybe so, but not in the way you’re thinking. Plus: studio updates + residency open calls.
Am I, the artist, a narcissist, or Frankenstein?
I’d say I’ve had the 14-hour manic episodes for either.
I’ve been reading a lot lately about artists’ biographies and their creations. Standing at this stage in the procession of life, I find myself relating to Frankenstein more and more. Yes, the doctor and the monster, but let’s start with good ol’ Doctor Frank.
“With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony, I collected the instruments of life around me, that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet.”
A few years ago, an artist I was assisting for a huge mural in Berlin told me I must love my art. After all, how could I not?
The thing is, I don’t.
It’s just that I can’t stop. I’m a creator. I’m a maker. I can’t not do it, so my mind will make me stay up all night until whatever tortured thing needs to be somatically thrown out, out in the open, to share with the world as some type of gift that no one asked for.
But I also know I have put a lot of mediocre shit out there while the world witnesses. People always ask: how do you know if you’re an artist? And how would they know if they might have “it” in them too? Maybe they think we are more enlightened, care less about what people think, that there is some way to figure out how to “get there.”
The million-dollar answer is… you don’t choose.
Tbh, you are chosen. And for many, like Shelley and of course Lord Byron, it’s even a curse.
It’s annoying because you are on a life path of constant learning, exploring, and change (since most creatives are too abstract-thinking for society or neurodiverse for a full-time desk job), hoping that it’s not making more chaos in this world.
So I create art. I get cocky. I like it. Then I hate it, then I fear it even.
Maybe because it has manifested too much into reality, it becomes a reflection of my own fear, my own insecurity, my own confusion of why are we here and why was I given this “gift” to need to create.
To bring me closer to some type of connection or understanding? (I understand Frankenstein’s monster more and more as I go further into my practice.)
So are we, artists, narcissists? Maybe. Probably. Most definitely.
But more in a way to understand what existence is; we all perceive the world from ourselves first, whether we like it or not.
After all, we are born screaming and in pain, and statistically that’s also the way we will go. In a way, life is just a poetic long scream, laughing, crying, throwing up, being on a terrifying yet thrilling ride we never asked for. But a ride we’d never choose to do without.
But artists, we know we create a lot, and no one asked for it. But over time they, “society” or whatever that means, appreciate it. Maybe when you’re dead they will trade your thoughts for money laundering while saying you were “ahead of your time, it’s a shame they died penniless and ill” (cue to… well, most artists in history).
And it’s all our interpretation, but the main balance we try to get is, maybe, that what we made can make you, can make us, make some sort of sense of things in a way no words can. To connect, to make the prior intangibleness, reality.
(Now cue a rabbit hole into physics that I’ll save you from at least in this newsletter.)
So I’m glad you’re here. I’m marching towards… well, something, but it’s more the march I care about anyway.
Art like a fashion season
I started my career back in NYC in the fashion industry, and now it’s gone full circle. I’ve spent the past decade developing my style, my technical skill, and theories. I heard from most artists around that ten-year mark it just clicks. Thank God they were right and I didn’t just end up being insane. Well—for the most part.
Now this: I am creating collections and will release them as seasons. I will have a core piece that the collection (paintings, sketches, but also fashion, objects, and furniture) will revolve around. I have gotten tired of just a square wall and instead want to create interpretation and develop a world around them, and I want to invite the right people in. The freaks, the geeks, maybe the people who just want a little more in the tapestry of experience in life.
This new collection is being developed as we speak, and I’m excited to see what it will result in (even I don’t know how things will turn out!). What I can say is that it is being developed based on a place, but also the psychological perceptions echoed there.
But that also means I need your help to share my words and practice. The only way things move forward in life is if we do a little bit of it together. So I urge you to consider sharing this newsletter if you hope to support what I do in a small but meaningful way. And it’s not lost on me how grateful I am that you’re here.
I’m always curious about you reading this too (hello to my grandma, Mimi, for being my first reader). What brought you here and what’s your story? Maybe we can be a little insane and connected from our random sides of this earth.
A quick update before you go
But if you happen to be in Berlin…
Come see my creative madness at my next open studio weekend, November 7–8. You can see more here.
I made a new website where you can see how I work with my patrons.
I’m interviewing new potential residents for THE FLOOR as you’re reading this. And yes, applications are still open for our winter months.
I created and am curating for our next art residency in Mexico in January 2027.
I painted a massive graffiti piece in Bushwick, NYC, you can see here.
I started a fashion collection (come to my open studio in November to see).
I finished building my DA SWAMP collection.
I’m creating my next collection, which I will start to show at our next open studio at THE FLOOR as part of OANK Berlin. I urge you to come if you want to see the inside of my secret studio space and enjoy a mulled wine.
I curated and produced a collaboration with Klunkerkranich in Berlin to bring together music jams and live drawing. I call it Sketchy Sessions.
I started tattooing again and released a new Berlin flash sheet.
My interns wrote this cute piece about their experience with me :)
Until next time, and thank you for being here.